QuitSmokingWeed.com

I started drinking when I was nine. I’ve been a daily marijuana smoker since ‘01. The law got me last year and after the process I am now on probation with random UA’s. Instead of cheating the system I am trying to soberiety for the first time.

First came the physical withdrawals (marijuana is addictive, I don’t care who says other wise - it physically hurts), then the mental rationalizing (I can smoke if I can just continue to buy detox drinks, right?), and now I have no drive to do anything. I can’t focus on work, I can’t focus on my art, I can’t even make love to my wife. I never thought weed was so fundamental to my existence. I had a chance to smoke tonight but I didn’t partake.

I can’t even play music anymore - everyone I play with abuses marijuana and anything else you can think of.

I recently lost my best friend to heroin less than a month ago; you would think this would set me straight but all I want to do is smoke.

I am looking for an outlook, a perspective unknown to me. I am in rehab but I do not trust the counselor or program; I have a bitter taste in my mouth from the whole criminal justice system.

Tell me your stories. It would help.

Thanks.

I’m looking for some nuts-and-bolts info. about the process of divorce. If STB-ex and I agree on the terms, and file, what happens next? Do we have just one court date in front of a judge? Does anyone need to be there other than the two of us? With a child involved, if we agree to a parenting plan, is it that cut and dried? Basically, I’m trying to find out if this process can be eased if the two parties agree on all the terms, because it looks like that’s where we’ll be. I think we can avoid lawyers, so will one be assigned to us?

i have come to realize by reading all about co-dependancy and alcoholics that i actually was crazy when i lived with my AH. I let him drive me crazy, but I wonder if anyone else was "crazy" like me

see when my husband would pass out, it would bug me and i would either get bored or vindictive, whatever you want to call it and would bug him while he was passed out

examples–

say he would pass out in the living room floor, i would then take off his shirt if he had one on, then turn the air up really high and hide his blanket, yes i know it was mean :c043: so then he would wake up in the middle of the night freezing and i would pretend to be dead asleep or would tell him he must of done something with the blanket lol

he would pass out on the couch, in the chair, whereever, i would then get a permanent marker and write stuff on his face :e058: then take a picture of him- again i know it was mean, and childish, but funny, he never got mad about it, usually laughed about it the next day, except one time he woke up in a hurry to go to work and when he got to work, his buddies started laughing at him and showed him what i done lol, but even then he didnt really get mad, he just told his buddies i was a nutcase and got bored when i couldnt sleep lol

when he drank vodka, i would pour some out then add water, and got away with it for a while, til he put it in the freezer and it froze :e136:

ive done other things but i wont go into them , yall get the point, i was bored couldnt sleep and he was passed out and it annoyed me what can i say, am i the only one who would mess with their drunks when they were passed out? and it wasnt all vindictive, im a naturally sneaky and playful person, im always playing jokes on folks, but sometimes you just get tired of them being passed out every single night my way of coping i guess

Still sober, but l find myself wanting a nice bottle of wine. I do realize that there is no such thing. "Bottle" is never a singular thing at my house. I see the recycle pile increase almost daily and I am kind of shocked that I’m not even contributing to it. My husband is drinking alone- and he does fine. But he does get on my nerves. Sometimes I wish he would have another glass of "shut the Hell up" I know that is is me, not him, so I’ll handle it. It seems it was much easier to abstain at the beginning and now it is harder for me. My life is dang boring! Is that how it’s supposed to be when you’re middle aged? I can’t stand it. I am losing weight and my face is thinner and not boozey bloated. I feel good physically, but have a ways to go. One foot in front of the other…. I hope everyone out there is hanging in. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. Damnit.