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Good morning all, I’m looking for some sharing. First a bit of background. I’m married to an alcoholic who has been sober for almost 4 years. He went thru various rehabs and finally found one that worked. We were separated at the time and reconciled. The first two years or so were great - we went to weekly family meetings and he went to open AA meetings. In the last year or so he has stopped going to meetings, never did hook up with a sponsor. He is still sober but the behavior that he had when drinking - communication skills, denial and not accepting responsibilities are all back.

I have let myself slide back into my old behaviors too, afraid to talk about things that are bothering me - back to hiding my feelings with him. I can talk openly with my rehab facilitators and friends but not my husband.

I sat down with him a week or so (see my previous post) and told him a bit about how I was feeling and that in order for me to feel better about myself and to have some personal security he needed to find a job that would pay his share (he hasn’t really worked since he left rehab and for the past year or so I have been paying for everything - his savings and pension are now long gone).

All he said was ok I know how you are feeling and I’m sorry to have pushed you this far and that he will work on getting a job.

We still don’t really talk. I’m not sure if I want to start talking about things. I’m not sure I still want to be in this relationship. I’m so confused about so many things. Id like to be able to talk to him but again I’m afraid of telling him how I really feel. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you - K